Atheist aphorisms

Below the fold I've assembled some good short quotes and aphorisms in general for bumper stickers and T-shirts relating to religion and science.

Top Fifty Atheist T-Shirt and Bumper Sticker Aphorisms

1. Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers
2. Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole
3. Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry
4. Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
5. There's A REASON Why Atheists Don't Fly Planes Into Buildings
6. "Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day."­ God.
7. God Doesn't Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.
8. If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?
9. He's Dead. It's Been 2,000 years. He's Not Coming Back. Get OVER It Already!
10. "All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry." Edgar Allen Poe.
11. Viva La Evolución!
12. Actually, If You Look It Up, The Winter Solstice Is The Reason For The Season
13. I Wouldn't Trust Your God Even If He Did Exist
14. Cheeses Is Lard. Argue With THAT If You Can.
15. People Who Don't Want Their Beliefs Laughed at Shouldn't Have Such Funny Beliefs
16. Jesus is Coming? Don't Swallow That.
17. Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!
18. GOD - APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!
19. Jesus Told Me Republicans SUCK
20. God + Whacky Tobacky = Platypus
21. God Doesn't Exist. So, I Guess That Means No One Loves You.
22. When the Rapture Comes, We'll Get Our Country Back!
23. Q. How Do We Know the Holy Ghost Was Catholic? A. He Used the Rhythm Method Instead of a Condom.
24. You Say "Heretic" Like It Was a BAD Thing
25. I Love Christians. They Taste Like Chicken.
26. Science: It Works, Bitches.
27. "Intelligent Design" Helping Stupid People Feel Smart Since 1987
28. I Found God Between The Sheets
29. I Gave Up Superstitious Mumbo Jumbo For Lent
30. My Flying Monkey Can Beat Up Your Guardian Angel
31. Every Time You Play With Yourself, God Kills a Kitten
32. If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?
33. Praying Is Politically Correct Schizophrenia
34. ALL Americans Are African Americans
35. I Forget - Which Day Did God Make All The Fossils?
36. I Was An Atheist Until The Hindus Convinced Me That I Was God
37. The Spanish Inquisition: The Original Faith-based Initiative
38. If we were made in his image, when why aren't humans invisible too?
39. JESUS SAVES....You From Thinking For Yourself
40. How Can You Disbelieve in Evolution If You Can't Even Define It?
41. Q. How Can You Tell That Your God is Man-made? A. If He Hates All the Same People You Do.
42. Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex
43. I Went to Public School in Kansas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt and a Poor Understanding of the Scientific Method.
44. WWJD = We Won. Jesus Died.
45. The Family That Prays Together is Brainwashing the Children
46. Oh, Look, Honey Another Pro-lifer For War
47. Another Godless Atheist for Peace and World Harmony
48. God is Unavailable Right Now. Can I Help You?
49. "When Lip Service to Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality on Wednesday and Absolution on Sundays, Cash Me Out." Frank Sinatra.
50. No Gods. No Mullets.

The following I pulled from the comments section:

1. What schools need is a moment of science.
2. The last time we mixed politics and religion, people got burned at the stake.
3. "The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion." (Treaty with Tripoli, June 7, 1797)
4. "I cherish everyone's right to their religious beliefs, no matter how comical." Herman Melville
5. Don't pray in my school, and I won't think in your church.
6. Apes evolved from creationists
7. If we're all God's children, then what makes Jesus so special?
8. Jesus saves! The rest of us use credit cards.
9. Militant Agnostic: I don't know, AND NEITHER DO YOU!
10. Born right the first time, thanks!
11. Reality > Belief
12. There's a Sucker born every minute, but the real money is made from those Born Again.

And from here:

1. "If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia." Thomas Szasz
2. "Beware the man of one book." St. Thomas Aquinas
   
3. "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell
4. "Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." Napoleon
5. "Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet." Napoleon
   
6. "The ink of the scholar is holier than the blood of the martyr." Prophet Muhammad
7. "Which is it, is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's?" Nietzsche
8. "Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful." Nietzsche
9. "In Christianity, neither morality nor religion comes into contact with reality at any point." Nietzsche
10. "If god created us in his image we have certainly returned the compliment." Voltaire
11. "It is hard to free fools from chains they revere." Voltaire
    
12. "Men who believe absurdities will commit atrocities." Voltaire
13. "The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool." Voltaire
14. "In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty." Thomas Jefferson
15. "If you understand everything, you must be misinformed." Japanese proverb
16. "The believer is happy; the doubter is wise." Hungarian proverb
17. "Religion is not merely the opium of the masses; it's the cyanide." Tom Robbins
18. "Nothing overshadows truth so much as authority." Leon B. Alberti
    
19. "To use the term blind faith, is to use an adjective needlessly." Julian Ruck
20. "Nothing brings people together more, than mutual hatred." Henry Rollins
21. "The church tries to save sinners, but science seeks to stop their manufacture." Elbert Hubbard
22. "Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin." Robert G. Ingersoll
23. "Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them." Peter Ustinov
24. "The death of dogma is the birth of morality." Immanuel Kant
25. "If you would be a real seeker after truth...doubt, as far as possible, all things." Descartes
    

Nice.